


But Then I Hear You Calling...

by westallenkiss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt Magnus Bane, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Post-Episode: s03e16 Stay With Me, Protective Alec Lightwood, Song fic, little bit of malec angst, my tagging will always be so dumb, they need to explore more what magnus is thinking, this is all my own thoughts in order to make myself feel better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 10:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18342086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westallenkiss/pseuds/westallenkiss
Summary: Need you when I'm broken when I'm fixed.Need you when I'm well and when I'm sick.Friends that I rely on don't come through.They run like the rive but not you.Can't see when I'm falling, losing myself but then I hear you calling...There you are, there you are.You're there with open arms, there you are.There you are and I run..."I've got everything I need right here..." Magnus said, but was he absolutely positively sure?





	But Then I Hear You Calling...

**Author's Note:**

> here we go, so they just don't give us enough of their thoughts, and so i have to write it for myself, but i also like to share it in hopes you like it. so this is my thoughts on how magnus is feeling and how alec will protect him forever. 3x16 spoilers.

"There you are." Alec said a few minutes after Lorenzo left them in an embrace, and Magnus walked away from Alec a few seconds after lying to him that he _had everything he needed right here_...he did, but then he didn't. He was two seconds away from running after Lorenzo to ask to give it back to him, also had contemplated going to Edom just to ask his father for it back. He had no idea why he did such a thing in the first place, and every single thing about him felt ugly, even his heart for lying to Alec like this.

"Here I am." Magnus forced a smile and put his phone away, the text to Lorenzo never sent. "I was just... I wasn't doing anything... I just needed to be alone."

"I would leave you alone, but there is a lot I need you to hear that I couldn't get out before..." Alec swallowed with a deep breath.

Magnus softly eye rolling, but not completely just shook his head at his boyfriend. "No need, everything is fine."

"Magnus, everything is not fine. I know how hard it was for you to do this, I know your magic means everything to you, but the magic doesn't make you who you are as a person, it doesn't make you love and radiate the way you do." Alec still was a lost for words when he was trying to speak to Magnus about how he made him feel. "Your heart is what makes you who you are. You care about everyone around you. You care about me, you love me, you're the one that told me when things get like this not push you away, and here you are pushing me away..." He was stuttering a little bit but it was coming out and he could see Magnus' eyes slowly start to turn that golden brown he loved so much. "I love you, Magnus. I know how much it all means to you to have this, but I know I have to be selfish because I love you and I want to be with you and I can't lose you..." He trailed off now knowing what he was thinking was a little crazy and Magnus could and probably would just eye roll him and look away and this could all be forever but he didn't want his boyfriend to slip into a deep and dark depression.

"I love you too, Alexander. It all started with me being jealous of losing you with that Overhill dude," Magnus actually confessed something without realizing he was jealous again, he made a face and shook his head, "I mean.... I'm not jealous... but look at me.. look at him... look at you... I'm nothing without my make up, I'm hideous..."

"Are you joking right now? You're literally joking right?" Alec flabbergasted his voice just above yelling, "How many times do I have to tell remind you how god damn beautiful you are?" Alec growled almost, taking Magnus' hands in his, bringing him into him and kissing his forehead, and nose, and softly pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "Maybe, I never admitted this before, but that first moment I saw you, as you introduced yourself to me.... it was right then and there...Magnus I was so enthralled with every single thing about you... I was so afraid of being out... being in love with a boy.... I had to hide it... I must have did a really good job, but you have to know... you have to know that because of you I am who I am right now..." Alec wasn't at all loud but his voice was breaking and he could feel the tears threatening his eyes, so he sniffled and swallowed. "You said I unlocked something in you, you said you opened your heart up because of me, you told me -- actually you yelled at me accusing me of feeling what you felt... well what if I did feel it even then? And I was angry... I was... because I was terrified that _someone_ as beautiful as you inside and out could love _me_... " Alec smiled a soft smile afraid to frown, just hoping that Magnus could truly see himself for who he was without all the glamour.

"Alexander, you are so wise, you are also so kind. I knew you'd make the right decision and come around, it hurt when you said all that, and I do appreciate you reminding me of those simpler times... if you want to call them that... I think our first kissed proved to me how much you loved me even then without saying it until you lost me for the first time... I know you can't lose me, I know I can't lose you either. I promise you, you won't lose me." Magnus wasn't forcing a smile anymore and his face was lighting up 10x more than it had been the entire day since he lost his magic again. "Maybe, I've never felt like this before in all of my centuries of living, but you are my soulmate Alexander... I have never ever felt this way before and it all started with your smile... I was hooked... I was scared you wouldn't love me if I lost my magic... if I couldn't give you what you need..."

"Stop, don't you dare think that... I don't need a single thing other than you to know just how beautiful you are and how much I love you that nothing else in this world matters to me..." Alec poked at his shoulder and stared him down, arching his eyebrow at him.

Magnus had to laugh, a geninue little giggle that Alec always brought out in him. "I really do not need anything if I have you, yeah?" He raised an eyebrow back leaning forward and kissing that pout of his. "You amaze me, Alexander."

"Oh? In good ways I hope?" Alec snickered almost, he said that once before just before kissing him.

"In every good way possible, and hey... it was my choice to give up my magic to free Jace from the Owl... so you aren't selfish at all, you shouldn't blame yourself, I can't believe you really thought you weren't going to be able to spend the rest of your life me?" Magnus smirked a little at the end of his thoughts.

Alec couldn't but blush and give that soft smile of his reserved for Magnus only, the one he got when he first met him and every little one in between. "You did hear me..."

"Of course I did.. and I dreamed about us dancing together, you were so good at it, you made me lose all my train of thought... until your strength pulled me back in...I heard you calling out to me... I came back because of you, Alexander.... you really are all I need..." Magnus breathed a small sigh. "Thank you, Alexander."

Alec rolled his eyes with a bit of a giggle, "Me good at dancing, you remember Havana? You almost broke up with me at just how bad I was..." Alec teased him as they ended up in a little bit giggles, as they drew each other closer to each other as Alec cleared his throat just slightly to speak softly, "But please don't thank me, just promise me that we can do this self love together and find each other without your magic..."

"I promise, Alexander, I can't and won't deny that you _are_ all I need, I mean it." Magnus promised and this time there was a million and one stars in his eyes.

Alec breathed in to breathe out and leaned forward, tugging Magnus completely into him, all the happy tears mixing in with their kiss, and they really would have their forever just like this...


End file.
